Trigger
by Vanity-chan
Summary: For 30 kisses. SasuSaku. "Sakura, if you leave me, everywhere I go will be a battlefield."


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"Sasuke-kun, will you go on a date with me?"

"…"

"…Please?"

"No."

"I-I… Okay. Maybe next time."

"Hn."

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"_You do something to me."_

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"Sasuke-kun, will you walk me home?"

"I'm busy."

"…I understand. Bye, Sasuke-kun."

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"_That I can't explain."_

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"Sasuke-kun—"

"No."

"But I haven't even finished what—"

"NO."

"…I see."

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"_So, would I be out of line if I said…"_

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"Sasuke-kun, I… I-I love… you."

"…"

"…"

"So?"

"I just wanted you to kno—"

"Now I know. Go away."

"O-Okay…"

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"_I miss you?"_

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"**Why did you do that, teme?"**

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Trigger  
By: CandyTenshi

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"_Sakura, If you leave me, everywhere I go will be a battlefield."_

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The day she cut her hair short…

"Sasuke."

…is also the day she _should've_ let go of her feelings.

Really, she tries. Tries to clear a space in her mind around of all the sharpness of the things she wishes she could forget so that she can make way for things that she wants to remember.

"What?"

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"_All I wanted to say was 'I love you' and I'm __**not afraid**__."_

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She tells her brain to do it. She commands her voice to come out and her lips to move so that she can tell him those five words she's been practicing since this morning.

No matter how painful they may be.

"…"

It doesn't happen.

"What, Sakura?" He sounds annoyed.

_-_

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"_Hold on to me, love.__  
__You know __**I can't stay**__ long."_

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She tries again.

It still doesn't happen.

Frustration starts to simmer inside her. And then she closes her eyes and takes a deep, shaky breath, ignoring the annoyed gaze the dark-haired man is sending her way.

No matter how much she has tried to convince herself, the truth about her feelings… It can't be changed.

She's messed up and confused about _love_ more than ever.

If she lets her guard down, it will slip out.

But she can't let that happen.

She's tired as hell and her head is aching. She's feeling _cranky_. Hell, she didn't sleep last night, thinking about her feelings, all about the beginning, her, him, them, and everything in between. And the decision she has made.

She can do this. She's not helpless.

I _don't_ do helpless.

_-_

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"_Holding my last breath, safe inside __**myself**__."_

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She clenches her fists and opens her eyes. She looks at his shoulder with unreadable eyes, masking every single thought running in her head and every single emotion she's feeling.

Because the moment she lets them through…

_Don't look in his eyes…_

"I don't…"

…She might break.

…_or else you'll fall hard._

"…love you anymore."  
(Because it's so heartbreaking, just like _you_.)

And so she says, her voice scratchy, because it's just so hard to shatter illusions. The Illusion of him being able to return her feelings. Or the illusion of him wanting to take her in his arms, of him needing her (just like how she needs him) to stand by his side and live a peaceful life with him. They're just _mere_ illusions.

And then she kisses him. Just one last kiss to prove that this is real. One last kiss to remind him of what he is losing. One last kiss to test her own feelings.

But it is an act that betrayed her words altogether.

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"_It __**ends**__ here tonight."_

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Then she turns around to walk away from him and her hateful feelings so that she won't have to see whatever look he has on his face, blinking away tears she didn't know she would shed for this goddamn episode in her life.

This is her decision. To tell him she doesn't love him anymore without batting an eyelash, and then get the hell away from him.

_And she did…_

Because someone like her can only wait so long until her heart is shattered, never to be whole again.

Because every time she tries to move on, she knows he'll be right there, and she'll fall in love all over again.

…_Never knowing it triggered something in him._

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"_To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold Utopian __**dream**__."_

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He has just lost control altogether.

Screams.

Tears.

And…

…_blood_.

He can taste it. He can smell it in the air. That disgusting, sickening smell. The agonizing screams of people being tortured…

_Is this—_

He hears them, those anguished cries.

_--what you want, Sasuke-kun?_

Their eyes reflecting the terror, the horror…

_What the fuck—_

…the fear…

_--happened to you, teme?_

He sees them all.

_Why?_

He stares lazily at the unmoving bodies on the ground and at the blood pooling at his feet.

_Why?!_

He cannot help but feel something… A very unpredictable and sly thing is toying with him, mocking him until that little grip of sanity that he has left finally escapes from his grasp.

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"_So __**sacrifice**__ yourself and let me have __**what's left**__,__  
__I know that I can find the __**fire**__ in your eyes."_

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_Love._

That _revolting_ little thing playing with the pulsating organ inside his ribcage. He can't even dare say what it is beneath his skin, his bones. Because it's impossible for him to have it and to even feel something with it…

_You—_

(He sees her innocent green eyes and the soft, teasing smile on her face as she laughs at something with that sweet voice of hers that he always hears--)

But he does, because no matter what he tries to tell himself, no matter how much he denies it to convince himself that he is nothing but a _monster_, the fact that he's still a human with a beating _heart_…

(--trying to tell him that she loves him. "Stop," he whispers, tilting his head up to look at the now dark sky just as the rain starts pelting against his emotionless face--)

…is well, a fact.

He never thought that he was capable of having such emotions, of feeling the need to steal her, no, sweep her away, just like she has swept him away without even knowing it.

_--love—_

(--as he recalls the way her lips would pout whenever he rejected her, her shoulders would sag and her eyes would be downcast, and he just can't help but want to hold her in his arms because--)

"Stop," he says a little louder this time, narrowing his own eyes as they stare aimlessly up there, up where the souls of these bloody corpses probably are now.

(--it hurts to see her cry. He might just cry as well.)

_--her._

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"_I'm going all the way, __**get away**__, please.__  
__You take the breath right out of me and left a __**hole**__ where my heart should be."_

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"STOP!"

And he screams to stop the voice inside his head telling him something that his mind can't bear to understand because it hurts. It hurts to lie. It hurts to stand back and watch as she's hurting. It hurts to reject her when he knows that he can always return those feelings. It fucking _hurts_.

_I don't know what happened to me. I don't know-- _

But there's no stopping him now. The pain has consumed him. It has taken over his soul. It has eaten up all that was left of his sanity. The pain that is too much to take swallows him bit by bit until nothing is left inside him.

_--what I've become._

Only a hole where his heart should be.

Nothing—no one else can stop him. Only _her_.

_Is it over?_

"Sakura," he whispers to the wind, lowering his head to look at his bloody and filthy hands. "If you leave me, everywhere I go will be a battlefield."

"Sasuke-kun."

Here she comes.

(And he wonders if she heard what he just said.)

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"_I see __**nothing**__ in your eyes, and the more I see, the less I like."_

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"Stop this, Sasuke-kun."

All of a sudden, the loneliness he's supposed to have tamed… starts to lash out without him being able to do anything about it.

And he loses his resolve to continue killing, to continue ruining his already ruined self.

_Because even if he cries…_

"I'm sorry."  
(I love you.)

He surprises himself by the words that came out of his own lips and looks at her, watching, just watching, as her eyes widen and her body stiffens completely.

He can't even say it.

_Pathetic._

Is this what he has become?

"I screwed up."  
(Don't leave me.)

He falls on his knees, staring, just staring at her.

_If only--_

The more he looks at her, the less he sees.

_--she hears the real words underneath._

As if he doesn't know the woman standing in front of her.

_Even if he screams…_

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"_You got to __**fight**__ just to make it through,__  
__'Cause I will be the __**death**__ of you."_

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Her eyes widen because she suddenly realizes his feelings, and that her illusions aren't really illusions after all.

_She hears them--_

"It's too late. I stood by you through everything… but this is the last straw."  
(Live with it. I should know how it is to be rejected. It's not easy.)

_--but he _doesn't_ hear hers._

And she bites her lip, aware of her body shaking profusely, afraid that the bottled emotions she's worked so hard to keep will burst their way out of her breaking heart.

_Even if he clings…_

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"_You have only been gone ten days,__  
__But already I'm __**wasting away**__…"_

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"I can't watch you self-destruct any longer."  
(Because I still love you. Always have, always will.)

She walks away from him for the second time, reminding him of how he used to walk away from her whenever she tries to tell him her feelings.

_Even if he tells her not to go, she'd go anyway because…_

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"_I need you to know that __**I care**__ and __**I miss you**__."_

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It's over. This time, it's for _real_.

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Ever since then, he vowed never to kill again.

Because he's scared to death that she'll hate him forever when he's so madly in love with her.

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"**Because I love her, and I can't make her happy."**

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_**I Miss You by Incubus, Breathe by Breaking Benjamins, My Last Breath by Evanescence  
_

Authoress: I was writing a Code Geass one-shot but I just couldn't so I just wrote this instead. Oh well, I'll post it when I finish it. Hopefully. If I can't then I'll turn it into a SasuSaku.

Hmm. Originally written for Thirty Kisses… :P But they're still not accepting my SasuSaku claim so... *sighs* This was obviously rushed. It's less than 2,000 words. A record for me since I always write long one-shots. But what the hell. This is what I can do. :P And I think if I make it longer, it will suck since it will lose its simplicity so I made it to be straight to the point and leave the rest to your imagination. XD

(It didn't turn out to be as sad as I wanted it to be. *pouts*)

REVIEW.


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